Friday, 6 April 2012

Day 4

M'London blog today is not in London at all; it's in Oxford, because I'm a filthy cheater.

I was dropped off in the centre with an Oxford A-Z and had a good poke around. It's a hub of one-way streets and pedestrian precincts, and there were tourists like m'self absolutely everywhere. I much prefer the hasty, direct, aggressive pace of London to the slow, happy strolling of Oxford. On the outside I just went casually with the flow -- strolling, strolling, strolling, lalalala -- but on the inside I was roaring "ARGHHH MOVE MOVE MOVE GET THE HELL OUTTA MY WAY MOVE NOW MOVE NOW OR DEATH WILL HAPPEN". Hopefully that was indeed just an inner monologue.

I went round the colleges, and of course there was grand architecture lying around all over the place. My neck still hurts from looking up. It's so busy, though. I suppose it's the time of year. I wonder where the locals find the space to wallow in the city's famous romantic academic atmosphere?

Also went round a few of the museums. There was the Science Museum, which went a bit over my head --

"This is a bronze plate that was once used to tell the time".


I don't care.

I can't care.

Then there was the Pitt Rivers Museum, which was good. Dinosaurs are fun, and everyone loves a shrunken head if they can pull it off.

There was a cage there full of hissing cockroaches. A mother got her three-year-old daughter to hold one. Thinking back, I really should've taught the little girl a time-honoured phrase appropriate to the situation: "fuck off, mum".

I also went to the Ashmolean Museum, which was pretty spectacular. My favourite gallery was the human images. I also liked the entire art floor. So many ancient cultures seem to share a love for fat naked baby boys, and male beauty is portrayed so often with use of wavy hair.

Lastly, I dropped in at the Eagle & Child pub, where the famous Inklings did their stuff. I didn't feel any overwhelming urge to produce a literary masterpiece. Maybe that was because of the Britney Spears playing on the radio, but who knows.

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