After a million years of acceptable fear, I eventually came to realise that it was a bit counterproductive of me to turn my nose up at an instrument as useful as Facebook. Trying to network without Facebook is like trying to write a script with a pritt stick.
I just thought it would gnaw up my time, leaving nothing but the bare bones of a broken day, and that I'd spend all that time trawling slavishly through other people's unrelated lives. This is my dog. This is my dog's kennel. This is my wife. This is my wife's kennel.
I'd much rather waste my days properly, by, say, watching The Tudors, over and over and over and over and o...
But h'actually, I like Facebook. I've run FB pages for a couple of companies before, but I've never had my own until now, and it's been genuine fun tracking down my past. And for a small child, I have a surprising amount of past.
Quickly, though, I realised that Facebook is a bit of an organism (and I just want to confirm, for those of you who did a double-take, that I said "organism" and not "orgasm"). It updates without you having to refresh the page, it's constantly moving. And everyone's online at the same time. That's what surprised me the most. I was thinking -- you're a full-time lecturer, and you're a popular photographer, and you're a busy office bod; what are you doing on Facebook on a Thursday afternoon?!
So maybe we're all the same, resting our sweaty foreheads against the computer screen and waiting for the next update, while the work and kids pile up at our side.
The extreme activity and size of Facebook hit me so quickly that I set up my laptop in the kitchen, carefully placed a box of Turkish Delight beside me as bait, and ushered in a steady stream of flatmates. All of whom (the brilliant beasties) helped me set up Facebook while tolerating my abrupt stints of silence/violent typing as I discovered the terrifying live chat feature.
The splendid mister Allison Burnett told me Facebook's like a great cocktail party, and it is. Except more fun. And very crowded. And everyone's talking at exactly the same time, which is absolutely mental in real life. But here in fakeland, it works.
So in conclusion, I never thought I'd say this, but... um. Er. Facebook me.