Sunday, 15 November 2009

Day 15

There was no storm today (apart from people spitting on the streets), so I wandered -- to Kensington. I went to Hyde Park, which is just ugly space -- even the lake -- with no end in sight. Though I think I disliked it mainly because London seems so proud of it, because it's a bit of green, and people were enjoying it so much because it's ooh, nature. Even the dogs were clicking along the paths remarking: "I bet my wolf ancestors were born in wilderness like this". It's like if you go to the sea and there's someone sitting alone, their knees drawn up, gazing out into the endless cerulean ocean, I just want to yell: "NOW STOP THAT AT ONCE". Stop romanticising Hyde Park. It's not all that. It's not any of that.

Though I did quite like the statues -- Achilles, especially, given that I didn't anticipate that he'd be there -- and Speaker's Corner. I was ushered into it by a man screaming "fuck you; FUCK YOU ALL", and I'm sure he had a valid social message in there somewhere, but his presence discouraged me from getting closer to that giant statue he was standing against; a giant statue of a decapitated horse's head. So, being unable to get close enough to read any kind of information board, I was just left to conclude that it was a tribute to The Godfather, which I'm sure it was.

At Speaker's Corner I was hoping to hear some maniac shrieking "THE END IS NIGH! And I will now calmly share my logical reasoning for this belief", but that didn't happen. Instead, there were lots of those "Free Hugs" morons (can you catch an STD that way?), and some speakers whose speeches were so hypocritical and contradictory that I won't even bother quoting them. I think we were all listening to them because we admire that they have the guts to spout bull to strangers, and we wish we could do that too.

I suffered Hyde Park more than I had to, because they only seem to put maps on the edges of this pretentious, annoying green mess, so when I got to one end there was a sign that said "sorry, I lied, you can't get to Kensington this way. lol. You'll have to try again". When I escaped, I visited Harrods, which is a gargantuan rectangle of vomit encrusted in gold, and The Victoria and Albert Museum, which was incredible. Descriptive, eh?


  1. What a random statue. That horse head looks HUGE.

  2. It's bigger than the one Jack Woltz found in his bed.